I grew up in Tallahassee, so there are a lot of things about this town that seem completely normal to me that apparently aren’t normal at all.
Yes, Tallahassee is Florida, but we’re definitely not the Florida you see in vacation commercials. We have huge oak trees instead of rows of palm trees, hills instead of flat land, college football that takes over the entire city, more bugs than anyone needs and summers that make you question why human beings settled here in the first place.
We’re also a funny mix of bigger city and very small town. Tallahassee has grown tremendously, but somehow everybody still knows everybody—or knows your cousin, went to school with your husband, worked with your mother or may actually be related to you.
If you’re moving to Tallahassee, here are 20 things those relocation guides probably forgot to mention.
1. The Heat and Humidity Are Worse Than You Think
You know Florida is hot. You don’t really understand Tallahassee hot until you’ve lived through August.
It’s not just 95 degrees. It can easily feel like 105 or 110 degrees once you add the humidity. There are summer mornings when you open the door and feel like you’ve walked straight into a sauna.
Your steering wheel will burn your hands. Your sunglasses will fog up when you walk outside. You’ll start choosing parking spaces based on shade instead of distance. Hair gives up. Makeup gives up. You just go with it.
And somehow we all still have outdoor grills, gardens, pools and patios like this is perfectly reasonable behavior. Eventually you do get used to it—and you figure out ways to enjoy being outside without melting.
2. The Bugs Are No Joke
If bugs bother you, Tallahassee is going to toughen you up.
We have mosquitoes, gnats, lovebugs, enormous spiders, biting ants and palmetto bugs that are basically cockroaches with gym memberships.
And yes, some of them fly.
You haven’t really lived in Florida until you’ve tried to kill a palmetto bug and it suddenly takes flight directly toward your face.
Summer evenings on the patio also mean mosquitoes, so you’ll eventually develop your own defense system involving spray, fans, citronella or all of the above.
Then there are lovebugs. Every so often they arrive in force, fly around attached to each other and cover the front of your car. They’re nowhere near as cute as their name suggests.
3. Pollen Season Turns Everything Yellow and Green
There comes a point every year when Tallahassee gets covered in pollen. And I mean everything.
Cars. Porches. Patio furniture. Pools. Sometimes it feels like it’s even inside your house.
You can wash your car in the morning and have a fresh layer on it by afternoon.
There’s really no winning. Eventually you accept it. This is also when you’ll understand why having a garage is such a wonderful thing.
4. Football Is Life Here
You don’t have to be an FSU football fan to live in Tallahassee, but you do have to understand that FSU football affects the entire city whether you care about football or not.
Home-game weekends mean packed restaurants, busy hotels, tailgates everywhere and traffic you absolutely do not want to accidentally drive into.
If there’s a home game and you need to cross town, leave early. Actually, leave earlier than that.
People who have lived here for years plan errands, dinners and even grocery runs around kickoff. Eventually you’ll find yourself checking the football schedule just to decide whether you want to go anywhere near Tennessee Street on Saturday.
That’s not excessive. That’s experience.
5. Tallahassee Traffic Makes No Sense
Tallahassee isn’t a huge city, which makes the traffic even more frustrating. As the city has grown, traffic has gotten noticeably worse. We’re certainly not Miami, but there are days when it feels like we’re trying.
Thomasville Road, Tennessee Street, Capital Circle, Mahan and Monroe can all turn a simple trip across town into an adventure depending on the time of day.
You’ll quickly learn that locals don’t judge a trip by how many miles away something is. We judge it by which roads we have to take to get there.
A place can be six miles away and we’ll still say, “Ugh, I don’t want to drive all the way over there.”
6. And Then There Are the Roundabouts
Tallahassee has developed quite the love affair with roundabouts. They’re a great tool for keeping traffic moving, but we may have gotten a little carried away. Especially in the north side.
New ones seem to appear regularly, and every new roundabout comes with a period where half the city knows how to use it and the other half approaches it like an unsolved puzzle.
Here’s the important part: yield to the traffic already in the roundabout.
Please.
7. Your Shortcut Won’t Stay a Shortcut Forever
Every Tallahassee local has back roads they use to avoid traffic.
Then everybody else discovers them.
Then development happens.
Then your wonderful little shortcut suddenly has three new subdivisions, a school and another traffic light.
Time to find another shortcut.
8. Tallahassee Is a Big Small Town
This may be the most Tallahassee thing of all.
We’re the state capital. We have major universities, hospitals, state government, thousands of businesses and a growing population.
Yet somehow Tallahassee still operates like a small town.
If you grew up here, you’ve learned not to talk too much about somebody until you’ve established who everyone around you knows—or is related to.
Your new coworker may have gone to school with your cousin. Their sister may have dated your brother’s friend. Their mother may have worked with your mother 25 years ago.
Mention someone’s name to a lifelong local and there’s a very good chance you’ll hear, “Oh, I know them.”
There are far fewer degrees of separation in Tallahassee than you think.
9. “Where Did You Go to School?” Usually Means High School
This one can confuse newcomers in a college town.
When two Tallahassee natives meet and one asks where the other went to school, there’s a pretty good chance we’re talking about high school.
Lincoln? Leon? Rickards? Godby? Chiles? North Florida Christian? Maclay?
Give us the answer and there’s a good chance we’ll immediately uncover three mutual friends and possibly a relative.
10. Hurricane Season Becomes Part of Your Calendar
From June through November, you’ll keep at least one eye on the tropics.
At first, a storm is just something way out in the Atlantic.
Then somebody shares a spaghetti model.
Then everyone becomes an amateur meteorologist.
Then bottled water starts disappearing.
Don’t wait until a hurricane is headed toward us to figure out what you need. Keep basic hurricane supplies around and you’ll save yourself a lot of last-minute scrambling.
11. The Trees Are Beautiful Until a Storm Is Coming
One of the best things about Tallahassee is our trees. Huge live oaks, pines and beautiful canopy roads make this area look completely different from much of the rest of Florida.
Unfortunately, hurricanes don’t care how pretty they are.
Falling trees and limbs can cause serious damage and power outages after storms. If you’re buying a house here, look at the trees surrounding it too—not just the house.
That beautiful giant tree may look a little different when you’re imagining it coming through your kitchen.
12. Summer Weather Changes by the Hour
A typical summer day can go something like this:
9 a.m.: Beautiful.
Noon: Surface of the sun.
3 p.m.: Biblical thunderstorm.
4 p.m.: Sunshine.
4:05 p.m.: Everything is steaming.
One side of town can be getting absolutely hammered while another side gets nothing at all. You may get a quick shower, nothing whatsoever or enough rain to flood the street.
The lightning can be intense too, so take thunder seriously if you’re swimming, boating or spending time outside.
But don’t automatically cancel your entire day because the forecast says thunderstorms. Chances are you’ll be back outside sweating again soon.
13. Winter Doesn’t Know What It Wants to Be
Yes, Tallahassee gets cold.
We get freezes, genuinely miserable cold snaps and we’ve even gotten snow a few times.
But we can also have a freezing morning followed by an afternoon warm enough to make you wonder why you’re wearing a sweater.
You’ll learn to dress in layers and keep both a jacket and sunglasses in the car.
14. Don’t Garden Like You Live in South Florida
We’re Florida, but we’re North Florida.
That’s an important distinction if you like to garden.
We get freezes, but we also have brutally hot summers. Plants that thrive in Miami may not be nearly as happy here.
On the other hand, we can grow things that struggle farther south because we actually get some cold weather.
Before filling your yard with “Florida plants,” make sure they’re actually Tallahassee plants.
15. The Canopy Roads Never Get Old
Even after growing up here, I still think Tallahassee’s canopy roads are one of the prettiest things about the area. I grew up around Centerville Road and I still love driving down it.
Huge trees arch over roads like Centerville, Meridian, Miccosukee and Old Bainbridge, creating something you just don’t see everywhere in Florida.
Take the slower road every once in a while.
It’s worth it.
16. We’re Not a Beach Town—but the Coast Is Close
This surprises some people moving to Florida.
Tallahassee is inland. You aren’t walking out of your downtown apartment and onto the beach.
But the Gulf is close enough that St. Marks, Shell Point, Alligator Point and the Forgotten Coast can easily become day trips.
Personally, I think that’s a pretty good arrangement. We get easy access to the coast while being farther inland when hurricanes come through.
17. Different Parts of Town Feel Completely Different
College Town doesn’t feel like Killearn. Killearn doesn’t feel like Southwood. Midtown doesn’t feel like the west side.
Drive a little farther out and you can suddenly find yourself surrounded by woods, horses and acreage.
Don’t decide whether you like Tallahassee after seeing one neighborhood. There are a lot of different versions of this town, so explore before deciding where you want to live.
18. Tallahassee Has Changed—a Lot
If you grew up here, it’s almost impossible not to say this.
Places that used to feel way out of town aren’t out of town anymore. I live in Killearn Lakes now, and when I was growing up, this was the boonies. Now we have Walmart, Target and just about everything else nearby.
It’s convenient—but still a little weird when you remember what used to be there.
Roads that were once quiet aren’t quiet anymore. Woods became neighborhoods. Small intersections became major intersections. And, of course, some of them became roundabouts.
Yet underneath all that growth, Tallahassee somehow still feels like Tallahassee.
19. You Will Develop Very Strong Opinions About How to Get Across Town
This happens eventually.
You’ll have your preferred Publix. Your preferred way to get across town. The gas station that’s easy to get in and out of. The intersection you avoid at all costs. The restaurant location that’s better than the other location.
And you’ll absolutely have an opinion when somebody suggests taking a route that you know is clearly the wrong way.
You live here long enough and these things become important.
20. Eventually, You’ll Become One of Us
One day you’ll realize you automatically checked the FSU schedule before making Saturday plans.
You’ll have a preferred route across town and three backup routes.
You’ll own mosquito spray, hurricane supplies and probably more flashlights than you remember buying.
You’ll complain about the traffic, the heat, the humidity, the bugs and whatever new roundabout they’re building.
And then you’ll meet someone who just moved here and catch yourself saying:
“Tallahassee isn’t that big. Everybody knows everybody here.”
That’s when we’ll know you’re officially a local.
